Uncle Bob always liked to tell us stories. One day, whilst we gathered around the campfire, he put it out with his piss. He only does this when he's about to tell us a very important story. And important it was! It was the story of Sally's Christmas gift, teaching us six year olds what is what in the ghetto and how you to can make a shitty Christmas gift into something great.
Everyone knew Sally had a huge dream of becoming a sexy hawt badass female Jedi. Because, why the fuck not? Murica is and was a free country. So that ghetto gurl had every right to. But, as you can see, she was too fat, and whenever someone told her she needed exercise over daydreaming about her dreams she bitchslapped them so hard they got a boner and then she yelled "DON'T JUDGE, RACHET-ASS FOO'!" This was holding her back from being the perfect ghetto gurl Jedi. So, after giving her some MLG brand sleeping pills in her water, they used her sleeping body to do exercise, and after injecting her up the ass with weed she awoke. Ready to exercise even more, in just twenty one minutes she became a perfect shape, just like Britney Spears except not ugly as shit.
The day was Christmas, so after her exercise, she was greeted at the door by her two boyfriends, BlazeItMichael and XXX_BILLY_XXX. When she demanded her presents, they whipped their pants down to reveal their dicks, in boxes. Furious with this bullshit, she grabbed her samuri sword and slicked them off, then choking the two with each other's penises. She then crafted them, Dead Rising style, into a double-sided lightsaber. Running out, she shot a portal out with her pussy, and after struggling to not slip on the goo that splattered everywhere out of her vagina and not tripping on the hairs she lept in like an acrobat bitch. The portal lead to skrub land, where the skrub zombies instantly charged. After slicing all those fuckas down with her new dick sword, it was nearly broken. But she still had to fight off the ruler of skrub land, aka Hillary Clinton. With a skip and a leap and a jump, she had dropped it like a dumbass. With no other choice, she unleashed the Kraken, aka her pussy. After a nuclear explosion, it was clear. She had won.
But there was a bad feeling in her vagina after that. It rumbled, and after a painful few seconds, a skeleton popped out and killed her. So, what have we learnt? Don't trust dicks, they can fuck you over, and be creative in battle.
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